Emily Post's Rules for Politics

Okay, really they're mine.  As a young participant in the Lower Valley Cotillion Club, I was given the charge to read Emily Post's Rules for Teen Etiquette.  I have wondered recently, what she would have to say during this election season.

We are at the tail end of what has been a historically heated period.  I have mostly been a quiet observer via social media, with my mother's sound advice to me as an adolescent constantly at the back of my mind, "Don't discuss religion and politics with people."  Certainly, I am thankful to have heeded such advice, especially with the potential of my words living on forever in cyberspace.

Below, I have listed a handful things we can all do instead of firing off at one another with the touch of a screen.

1.  Be thankful.
Give thanks that we live in a democracy where we have a say in who leads it.  Be grateful for our freedoms and not constantly living in fear.  While it can be argued that we have a long way to go in certain areas, a quick look at our brief history will show that we have, indeed, made significant progress as a nation overall.  Not all countries in the world offer the same privileges to their citizens.

2.  Take the conversation offline.
I have yet to meet someone whose mind was changed based on a Facebook post or Tweet.  Might I recommend that online venues are not the best place to discuss such matters?  I mean, God forbid that you meet with someone over coffee and talk face to face, right?  And if it is a person you don't see eye to eye with, it can be downright frightening!  There's something about hiding behind a screen that makes us more bold.  I would also interject that the goal of such conversations should not be to change the other person's mind, rather to help them understand your point of view and vice-versa.

3.  Go VOTE.
Whatever your politics, if you sit this one out, you have forfeited your right to complain.  You may feel especially passionate about a particular candidate, or you may detest them all.  Either way, this is the most powerful move for your voice to be heard.  Also, you have every right to keep mum about who you support.  It's not necessary to let everyone know who you voted for. (That's why it's a secret ballot!)  Frankly, most won't care.

4.  Pray.
"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14

Please do not misunderstand this post.  I am not saying that posting articles in support of your candidate or their policies is inherently bad.  I am gently suggesting that arguing online over the nominees and issues does not get you (or them) anywhere.

I look forward to the morning of November 9th, when my Newsfeed will (hopefully) be filled once again with photos of families, events and accomplishments.  On really hard days, I even miss selfies and gym posts.

A Safety Net

When I heard about this company, Earnest, earlier this week, and was sent their blog post here, I had to laugh at how much my financial responsibilities have changed over the past ten years.  This is the second financial institution I was introduced to within the last few months.  You can read the other financial post on my blog here.

As a young, single teacher in my early twenties, I had no desire to save money and seldom thought of emergency situations.  I paid my bills on time and often had a small surplus of funds that I spent selfishly.  I would go salsa dancing with friends every other week, and loved shopping for new dresses and accessories.  If I was later invited to a party or gathering and did not have money to buy a gift, I would whip out my credit card.  Bad idea.  All those little swipes began adding up to big debt!

At a roaring 20's party in my mid-twenties.  Do not be
fooled by the photo; I could have been better about
handling my finances.

When my husband and I were engaged, we took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class at our church.  Over seven years of marriage later, I still say it was one of the best decisions we made.  It ensured that we were on the same page financially.  Ramsey has what he refers to as 7 Baby Steps:  1. Save $1,000 2. Pay off debt 3. 3-6 month fund 4. Invest 5. College 6. Pay off house 7. Give

Because we are a young family with three children ages five and under, and life happens, we have spent some time hanging around Step 3.  We also regularly do Step 7.  We hope to eventually tackle Steps 4-6 simultaneously.  All in good time.  Step 2 can be made easier and help you with Step 1 by refinancing your student loans to lower your rate and payment with companies like Earnest.

When building an emergency fund past the initial $1,000, you want to have 3-6 months worth of your expenses saved up.  The logic being, should calamity strike (job loss, natural disaster, accident, etc.), you will not go into debt providing for your family's everyday needs.  It gives you a small cushion and window of time to gain control of your finances again.

Back in April of this year, we had plans to begin converting our garage into a piano studio.  We had saved up money and received our income tax return, which would help.  About a week after deciding to move ahead with our blueprints, our city received a large amount of rain in a brief amount of time.  During the storm, we noticed that our kitchen ceiling started leaking.  As often happens in life, we had to put what we wanted on hold in exchange for what we needed:  a new roof.  Though I was initially disappointed at having to hold-off on the studio, I was thankful that we had the funds necessary for our new home improvement project.

Adventures in life are great!  Having a safety net in case
something goes wrong is ideal.

Situations like these, though not super common, have happened enough to show me the absolute importance of having a safety net.  Because of our commitment to living debt-free and continually building and rebuilding our savings fund, we have managed to stay afloat when unexpected events have occurred.  We have not had to borrow money to make ends meet.

If you are interested in reading more on the importance of saving and getting your finances in order, I highly recommend visiting Dave Ramsey's website here.  For a step-by-step guide on how much you should ideally set aside in an emergency fund and how to do that, read this Earnest blog entry.  When you find yourself in a situation and are not sure if you should dip into your emergency fund, ask yourself these questions first.

I shudder when I reflect on some of the poor financial decisions I made in my early twenties.  Though I learned valuable lessons and had times when I was greatly humbled, I am happy that I no longer live there.  

Jammin' with my Berries

A dear friend that I attended college with, Becky, is an Independent Jamberry Consultant.  When she contacted me recently and asked if I would write a blog post and review their product, I eagerly accepted.  I had seen many on Facebook and elsewhere sporting Jamberry nails.

My clone's hand and mine.  The pattern Becky picked for me
perfectly matched my Qalo ring: bonus!

A bit of history before I go any further: I am extremely practical.  I wear make-up once a week, on Sundays.  As a stay-at-home mom who works part-time, this has been the case for the past five years. In my former profession as a classroom teacher, there were days that I did not have time to put my face on, as some say, before heading out the door.  I was au naturel before Alicia Keys made it cool.

Do not be misled, I love being pampered.  Massages and pedicures are the way to my heart!  However, I only treat myself to such pleasures a few times a year.  Manicures have never been worth the investment, in my humble opinion.  My nails typically begin chipping after one week of use.  

Enter:  Jamberries!

My daughter's hands

I was not super familiar with "jams" (what the cool kids call them) except that they looked cute.  Within a week of agreeing to blog about them, I received a Thirty-One bag that had all I needed to try them out.  Becky was quite thoughtful and not only picked out a pattern for me, but sent some for my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, too.  For complete instructions on how to apply jams, please watch this video.  There is also a Spanish version here.

If you're anything like me, after watching that video, you're thinking, "That's an extensive process..."  I watched it a couple of times and set out all the needed supplies before taking the plunge.  And you know what?  It was easy.  Not only that, but my daughter, who requests that I give her a manicure at least once a week, sat through the whole process while I applied the jams to her right hand!  She peeled them off about 30 minutes later, but she liked them!

My jams after two weeks!  So, I can't be a hand model...

I would liken jams to stickers.  Mine lasted for two whole weeks before finally starting to peel off.  And the reason they started coming off was because strands of my hair (of which there is a lot!) would get stuck in the tiny crevices left due to my nails growing.  Over the course of those fourteen days, they endured:  washing dishes, working in my garden, pruning trees and plants, showering, doing laundry and playing with my three children.  I was surprised at just how durable they are!  And receiving compliments on them was a nice change of pace for me!

Needless to say, I am a fan of the jams.  More importantly, they are affordable.  The designs that are available to choose from are endless!  With the holidays upon us, a quick browse through a catalog is sure to find you something you would like!  Please take the time to browse my friend Becky's website here.  

On Being Content

I'm an ambitious person.  I typically have a special project I'm working on or our towards outside of my wifely (pastor's wife, at that), motherly, friendship and piano teaching duties.  When my husband and I first became engaged, we agreed that I would stay at home to raise our children (when they came around) for a season, with the understanding that I would keep a part-time job.  "Also, you need to know that I will always have side projects.  Otherwise, I'll go crazy, " I said to him.

Why yes, oldest daughter, some days
I feel like this, too.

Presently, I find myself living the life we envisioned years ago.  The life that I dreamed of, then.  Our four-year old son attends school, and our two and a half year old and three month old girls stay home with me.  Just last night, I was conversing with a dear friend over the phone, venting about the monotony of my day-to-day schedule.  "You are an incredible mother," she shared, "incredible."  "Thank you," I responded.  Truthfully, she could have shared, "the sun comes up each day," and it would have had the same effect.  "Is it enough?" I have often wondered.

This year has been marred by unexpected events and death.  I feel like I am constantly running to catch up with basic, daily responsibilities, barely keeping things afloat.  I go back and forth between wanting more and craving less.  Rejection from writing contests and speaking events has become the norm.  My current figurative state, sitting by a window and waiting for the next big thing.  And feeling like I will internally combust if someone asks anything more of me, yelling, "What more do you want from me?!  I have nothing left to give."

I am certain that had I been born male, my name would have been Jacob.  In the Old Testament of the Bible, Jacob was the man that wrestled with the Lord.  Literally.  I am constantly wrestling with the Lord, trying to discern what He has for me next.  In the midst of what has been a challenging year, He has shown Himself faithful and answered so many prayers.  Still, I find myself asking Him why, how and when.  Quiet, reflective moments are hard to come by.  When I do have them, I feel Him whispering the same thing, "My child, this is what I have for you.  This is what I've called you to—you're already doing it."  

"But, God," I often interrupt, "what else?"  

And so it is with us, right now.  Me, frantically looking around at all these other things I could be doing, and the Lord, gently and constantly reminding me that I am doing what is best for now.

"I have learned to be content in any circumstance.  I have experienced times of need and times of abundance.  In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing.  I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:11-13